Separate or together seems to be the question that comes when it comes to couples and money. While that is the bigger overall decision, there are many different ways that you can choose to manage your money. 100% apart and 100% together are the extreme ends and in my experience the extremes work well for many, but are not always the best fit.

Today, let’s dive into some of the different options to help you and your partner decide which option is the best for you both. Remember, that if you try one and after 3 or 4 months it doesn’t feel right and it isn’t working, you aren’t stuck with it, change it up until you find the way that is a good fit!

A lot of the options listed may seem the same, but there are subtle differences. Review the list a few times and really soak on the different options when deciding what option(s) you think would work well in your relationship.

1. Fully separate accounts with the household bills split about 50/50. You are each covering specific bills and expenses.

2. Separate accounts but you divide all household expenses up 50/50 so when you pay a bill, you communicate what your partner's half is.

3. Separate accounts with the household expenses split so you each cover specific bills based on your incomes. So if you make twice as much as your partner, your portion of the bills is twice as much as theirs.

4. Separate with but you divide all household expenses based on your incomes and track when one owes the other $$. Let’s go back to you making twice as much as your partner, so when a bill comes in, you cover ⅔ of it and your partner covers ⅓. As you don’t have any combined accounts, you will have to transfer to the other based on your tracking system.

5. Separate but household expenses are split up based on what your personal bills and expenses are. (So even if you have the same income, one of you might contribute less because you have higher student loan payments.)

6. Separate but with a joint account to cover all household bills-you each contribute the same amount each month/pay. The benefit to a joint household account is that you don’t end up having to transfer back and forth between your separate accounts.

7. Separate but with a joint account to cover all household bills-you each contribute the same % of your income each pay.

8. Separate but with a joint account for ALL household expenses (from groceries to replacing the roof)-you each contribute the same amount each month/pay.

9. Separate but with a joint account for ALL household expenses (from groceries to replacing the roof)-you each contribute the same % of your income each pay.

10. Together but separate accounts for personal spending. You each get the same amount each month/pay.

11. Together but separate accounts for personal spending. You each get different amounts based on activities you like to do or items that are important to you.

12. Fully together with no individual accounts.

If you aren’t sure which option is right for you and your partner, here are a few questions to ask yourself.

• What are we doing now that feels like it is working really well?

• What are the pain points of how we are currently doing?

• What have we tried in the past that worked?

• What have we tried before that did not work?

Review your answers and the list above to decide if you want to change up what you are doing now or even make a few tweaks.

Personally my hubby and I use option 10. It has been working well for us for years and we have no plans to switch it up because it works so well. I take the lead in managing our combined finances because I really enjoy it and it isn’t something that my husband wants to take on. We have regular discussions about how things are going and make all the big decisions together. Having personal spending money that is separate from everything else has been a game changer. We’ve been doing it for a very long time. It has changed though from cash to accounts because it makes things easier because we are able to use our debit/credit cards that are linked to our individual accounts to make online purchases.

How do you and your partner manage your finances? Did I miss an option that is working for you?

-Sherry